27-06-2006
Greg Rusedski
Tim Henman
Andy Murray
The Canadian one
The Home Counties one
The Scottish one
13-06-2006
Thierry Henry
Freddie Ljungberg
Ronaldinho
The French one
The Swedish one
The Brazilian one
02-05-2006
Alistair Darling
John Prescott
Tony Blair
Right honourable hunk
Right honourable hulk
Right honourable monk
07-03-2006
Philip
Seymour Hoffman
Joaquin Phoenix
Heath Ledger
The brainy one
The beautiful one
The bland one
07-02-2006
Prince William
Prince Harry
Prince Edward
The well-behaved one
The naughty one
The dull one
12-01-2006
Preston
Dennis Rodman
Michael Barrymore
The one with cheekbones
The one with piercings
The one with the shady past
20-12-2005
Father Christmas
Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer
Black Pete
The fat one
The furry one
The Dutch one
06-12-2005
Gary Barlow
Mark Owen
Robbie Williams
The fat one
The short one
The talented one
08-11-2005
Frederic Michalak
Gavin Henson
Jonny Wilkinson
French fancy
Welsh rarebit
English beef
17-10-2005
Pierce Brosnan
Sean Connery
Daniel Craig
Licensed to thrill
Shaken and stirred
007 hell
25-09-2005
Roy Keane
David Beckham
Wayne Rooney
Footballing lion
Footballing pussycat
Footballing pug
13-09-2005
Colin Firth
Laurence Olivier
Matthew Macfadyen
Mr Darcy in wet breeches
Mr Darcy in the old days
Mr Darcy dumbed down
30-08-2005
'Freddie' Flintoff
Steve Harmison
Shane Warne
England all-rounder
England bowler
Aussie loser
16-08-2005
Jarvis Cocker
Damon Albarn
Liam Gallagher
Pulp frontman
Blur frontman
Oasis frontman
02-08-2005
Marilyn Manson
Mick Jagger
Pete Doherty
Scary mother
Would shag your mother
Wants his mother
19-07-2005
Michael Caine
Shane Richie
Jude Law
Diamond geezer
Cheeky chappie
Snake in the grass
13-07-2005
Tony Blair
Jacques Chirac
George W. Bush
Leader of Britain
Leader of France
Leader of the Free World (apparently)
04-07-2005
Bono
Sting
Bob Geldof
Middle-aged rocker
Middle-aged tantric sexpert
Middle-aged saint
28-06-2005
Boris Becker
Mark Philippoussis
Tim Henman
Wimbledon champ
Wimbledon runner-up
Wimbledon loser
14-06-2005
Derek Laud
Science (aka
Kieron Harvey)
Craig Coates
Tory toff
Rapper delight
Snot-nosed kid
30-05-2005
Martin O'Neill
Jose Mourinho
Bryan Robson
Celtic manager
Sexy Chelsea manager
West Brom manager