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WED
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Greg Rusedski
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The Canadian one
We’ve really given ourselves a hard task in this week’s Top Blokes. But while none of Britain’s struggling tennis players would really make a first-class husband, we reckon Greg Rusedski’s the best of a bad lot. For one, his actual wife, Lucy, seems slightly more fun than Tim’s poker-faced missus. And Rusedski’s might be a bit brash for this bint’s taste, but looks-wise he’s certainly the pick of the bunch. Plus, despite not having won any Grand Slams, he has at least been in a final, of the US Open. Looks, dosh, reasonable sporting pedigree – what more do you want, a personality? |
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BED
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Tim Henman
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The Home Counties one
Don’t panic, bint readers. We haven’t totally taken leave of our senses. It’s just that the other option here (bedding Andy Murray) is a fate too awful to contemplate. So we’ll give it a go with “Tiger” Tim, and only hope that his performance in bed is a little more masterful than all his Wimbledon semi-final appearances might suggest. He does have a rather tender touch on the ball, after all – but we don’t want to see that raised, clenched fist come anywhere near our bedroom, thanks very much. |
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DEAD
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Andy Murray
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The Scottish one
Oh, how we wished for a worthy successor to Tim – and someone who might take things a step further and actually win something for us Brits. Instead, we got Andy Murray. Bad hair, bad loser, bad manners – Andy really needs to learn to be a little bit more graceful if we’re to learn to love him. Still, arrogance and out of control curliness of hair never did McEnroe any harm, so let’s hope Andy’s bad traits turn out to be his good ones, and that he might grow up to be as gorgeous as Boris Becker – remember how grim he was at the same age… |
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