06-12-2007 Tis the season to be merry Who would you like to kiss under the mistletoe? 14% Brad Pitt 8% Jeremy Paxman 23% George Clooney 21% Sean Bean 35% Boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/husband/wife etc 06-11-2006 Change of season What's the best thing about Autumn? 19% Crisp mornings 29% Cosy evenings 19% New wardrobe 33% Eating stodge 26-09-2006 Fall in Are leopard skin clothes... 64% Only for Bet Lynch 36% The latest must have look 12-08-2006 Beck off How do you feel about that? 30% Gutted - now we'll have to watch Real Madrid matches 70% Elated - that overrated pretty boy lost us the world cup 27-06-2006 Good wives Who's your favourite WAG? 18% Posh 21% Coleen 17% Alex Curran 27% Carly Zucker 17% Cheryl Tweedy 13-06-2006 Hot hot hot What's the best way of keeping cool? 63% Sitting in a pub with a pint 27% Stuffing your face with ice cream 3% Watching the footie indoors 8% Working in an A/C office 30-05-2006 Baby boom Which celeb baby has got the most stupid name? 42% Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt 42% Bluebell Madonna Halliwell 5% Moses Martin 3% Kingston James McGregor Rossdale 7% Suri Cruise 16-05-2006 Big Deal Big Brother - will you be watching, or not? 16% Watching 84% Not watching 02-05-2006 Feeling fruity What is your favourite fruit? 13% apple 22% peach 18% banana 10% orange 36% strawberry 11-04-2006 A Royal affair Who's your favourite royal bint? 19% The Queen 11% Princess Anne 13% Diana 17% Camilla 40% Princess Margaret 21-03-2006 Soap stuff Who is the best ever soap bitch? 46% Alexis Carrington 7% Tracy Barlow 6% Sable Colby 10% Cindy Beale 30% Tanya Turner 07-03-2006 Frock Shock Who was the worst dressed actress on the red carpet? 15% Keira Knightley in plum foil 11% Michelle Williams in canary yellow 54% Charlize Theron in car tyres 11% Naomi Watts in a net curtain 9% Salma Hayek in blue pyjama fabric 21-02-2006 A Question of Sport What is the most pointless winter sport? 7% Bobsled 62% Curling 16% Figure Skating 12% Skeleton 3% Ski Jumping 07-02-2006 Be my valentine What did you do on February 14th? 14% Gazed lovingly into my loved one's eyes 12% Paid for over-priced food in a restaurant 20% Heated up a ready meal for one 6% Waited for the postman to ring twice 48% Downed pints with other sane people 24-01-2006 Famous and frightened Who should have won this year's Celebrity Big Brother? 21% Preston 27% Chantelle 5% Michael 30% Maggot 17% Pete 10-01-2006 new year new you What is your New Year's Resolution? 34% Get rich 4% Get fat 23% Get thin 14% Get married 24% Get lost 20-12-2005 All present and correct All I want for Christmas is a... 14% A brand new bag 21% Some sexy lingerie 20% A year's supply of Lindor 36% A crate of fine wine 8% Some socks and an egg whisk 06-12-2005 Party time Which of these traditional office party pastimes have you ever done? 22% Snogged the boss 40% Insulted the boss 15% Photocopied your bum 11% Shagged Neil from accounts 13% Performed a striptease on the table 22-11-2005 Jungle fever Which hunky has-been would you most like to see strutting his stuff Down Under? 28% Duran Duran's John Taylor 9% Neighbours' Jason Donovan 21% Spurs' David Ginola 22% Room With a View's Daniel Day Lewis 21% This Life's Jo (the sexy barrister's clerk) 08-11-2005 Old stuff Which ancient civilisation would have been best for the bint? 33% Roman - lots of orgies 23% Egyptian - good eye make-up 23% Greek - sexy blokes 9% Aztec - nice chocolate 11% Inca - good jewellery 25-10-2005 What's cooking? How should we punish Gordon Ramsay? 18% Get Delia to tell him off 14% Pack him off to I'm A Celeb... 17% Force him to have a facelift (he certainly needs one) 10% Burn him in Hell's Kitchen 40% Make him record a show with Jamie Oliver 18-10-2005 Follow my leader Who do you want to win? 12% The fat one 6% The self-made man 16% The toff 9% The doc 57% I really don't care 11-10-2005 What Katie Did Who's really the daddy? 9% Tom Cruise 7% God 21% The Devil 21% Batman 43% Dawson 20-09-2005 Windy city What is the best thing about autumn? 49% Buying a new pair of black boots 21% Spending longer in the pub drinking pints 15% Harvest Festival, Halloween and Guy Fawkes 9% Getting the urge to stock up on doughnuts again 6% Actually having a reason to wear wellies 13-09-2005 Ashes to Ashes What do you make of cricket now? 11% It's the new football 19% It's dull as ditchwater 26% It's still impossible to understand 11% It's played by men with bad hair 32% It's the most exciting thing you've seen all summer 05-09-2005 Small things Which little thing gives you the greatest pleasure? 14% A long fart before bedtime 52% A forgotten fiver in your jeans pocket 23% The first sip of a pint 5% Winning two pounds on a scratchcard 5% A portion of fish and chips 30-08-2005 Wedding belles Who is your favourite EastEnd lass? 18% Pat Butcher 30% Kat Slater 9% Pauline Fowler 32% Dot Branning 11% Sharon Watts 23-08-2005 Partners in crime What would be the weirdest celeb coupling in the world? 21% Prince Charles and Madonna 16% Jade Goody and Liam Gallagher 11% Hugh Grant and Victoria Beckham 29% Tom Cruise and Jordan 23% Nicole Kidman and Paul Danan 16-08-2005 007 heaven Who's your favourite 007? 49% Sean Connery 10% Roger Moore 2% George Lazenby 21% Timothy Dalton 18% Pierce Brosnan 09-08-2005 Big winner Who do you want to win Big Brother? 7% Craig 16% Makosi 13% Kinga 23% Anthony 41% Eugene 02-08-2005 Beach boys What do you most like to see men wearing on the beach? 13% Speedos 8% Sarongs 13% Nothing 51% Baggy trunks 16% Wetsuits 19-07-2005 Nanny state Who would you most like to nanny for? 28% David Beckham's kids 45% Jude Law's kids 7% Chris de Burgh's kids 20% Tony Blair's kids 12-07-2005 Nice and icy What's your favourite ice lolly? 22% Feast 26% Magnum 18% Fab 21% Cornetto 13% 99 07-07-2005 Ma cuisine What's our greatest contribution to world cuisine? 22% Rosbif 53% Poisson et frites 2% Anguille en gelee 10% Tourte au bifteck et rognon 14% Fagots 28-06-2005 Happy to be here What is the meaning of life? 24% Number 42 38% F***ing drinking and f***ing shagging 19% One more wafer-thin mint 19% Life has no meaning 23-06-2005 Too bad, Tim What do you think of Tim now? 33% Loser 38% Plucky but ultimately crap 10% Terminally unlucky 7% Gutless 12% A truly British hero 22-06-2005 Tiger Tim Can Tim Henman win Wimbledon this year? 79% No - not a strawberry's chance on centre court 21% Yes - come on Tim! 14-06-2005 Maybe baby What will Jordan and Pete call their new baby boy? 13% Pete Jr 7% Jordan Jr 71% Brighton 2% Ant 7% Dec 07-06-2005 Dull, dull, dull What is the most boring activity in the world? 7% Watching paint dry 29% Watching celebs do nothing on an island 33% Watching Big Brother's non-entities compare tit size 19% Watching golf 13% Watching snooker 31-05-2005 Say cheese What is the oddest British pastime there is? 13% Cheese rolling 22% Morris Dancing 45% Bog snorkelling 5% Horn dancing 15% Shin kicking (look it up if you don't believe us) 24-05-2005 Music maestro Which is the best song of all? 25% The Kinks - You Really Got Me 31% David Bowie - Space Oddity 20% Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody 18% Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls 7% Robbie Williams - Angels 17-05-2005 A question of sport Who's the sexiest sportsman of all? 9% David Beckham 52% Thierry Henry 7% Gavin Henson 7% Mark Philippoussis 25% Freddie Ljungberg 10-05-2005 Gross out What's the grossest celebrity scandal ever? 59% Leslie Grantham's webcam finger-licking 11% John Leslie and Abi Titmuss's video orgy 5% Paris Hilton and Rick Salomon's home sex tape 6% David Beckham and the PA, the beautician, the supermodel... 20% Hugh Grant's Divine blow job 03-05-2005 Politicians' Wives Who should be/should have been in power instead of their husband? 45% Cherie Blair 13% Sandra Howard 18% Sarah Kennedy 8% Norma Major 15% Denis Thatcher (okay, not strictly a wife) 26-04-2005 Fairy Queen Which fairytale character would you rather be? 18% Rapunzel 7% An Ugly Sister 36% Anyone's wicked stepmother 20% Cinderella 20% Snow White 19-04-2005 Caught short But where's the most shameful place you've weed? 31% In the sea 13% In my neighbour's front garden 29% In the sink 14% In the bed 13% On my boyfriend 12-04-2005 And they're off...! So who's got the best chance of winning? 58% Labour: likes soft going and could fall at the final hurdle if not careful 12% The Tories: some might say too old for this race but still in with a chance 25% Lib Dems: Inconsistent performer liable to fade at the run-in 2% UKIP: habit of veering to the right makes this an unattractive bet 3% Veritas: nice silks but a no-hoper 05-04-2005 A weighty issue Which is your favourite celebrity diet? 12% Suzanne Shaw's Darren-a-Day diet 21% Kerry Katona's Delta Blow weight-loss programme 9% Victoria Beckham's Sun-and-Air diet [geddit?] 12% Liz Hurley's Raisin Damian fitness regime 46% Britney Spears' Kevin-Feder-pies eating plan 29-03-2005 The pain in Spain But should she leave old Goldenballs behind? 16% No. A wife's place is at her husband's side 58% No. We don't want 'em back 19% Yes. David is unlikely to Loos control again 8% Yes. Her singing career has been on hold long enough! 22-03-2005 Phone home What's the best thing about Doctor Who? 30% Tom Baker's scarf 16% The Daleks 22% The Tardis 11% K9 22% The sofa 16-03-2005 Ball boys Which rugby boy floats your boat? 36% 'Juicy' Jonny Wilkinson 14% 'Lovely' Lawrence Dallaglio 25% 'Gorgeous' Gavin Henson 7% 'Man-mountain' Martin Johnson 18% 'Beefy' Ben Cohen 08-03-2005 A song for Europe But what job should she try her hand at next? 20% Agony aunt 20% TV gardener (braless, of course) 11% Stuntwoman 32% Dinner lady 18% Rocket scientist 01-03-2005 Frock Shock But whose Oscar outfit was the worst? 22% Hilary 'drape me in a blue curtain' Swank 12% Cate 'yellow ain't my colour' Blanchett 34% Gwyneth 'mmm beige really suits me' Paltrow 22% Scarlett 'even black can look bad' Johansson 10% Charlize 'I want to look like a fairy' Theron 22-02-2005 Baby boy but what should have Baby Beckham been called? 33% Jesus 2% Santa Cruz 24% San Miguel 4% Sir Alex 37% Jose 15-02-2005 Affair to Remember But what you do think about the next Royal Wedding? 12% A fitting end to the 20th century's greatest love story 3% An insult to the late Queen of Hearts 27% Now fox-hunting's been outlawed, hopefully they'll both leave the country 58% Just another union of hopeless horse-faces 08-02-2005 Animal Magic What's your favourite pet? 23% Dog 59% Cat 10% Rabbit 4% Gerbil 4% Stick insect 01-02-2005 Wife swap Which classy couple would you most like to wife swap with? 24% Jude Law and Sadie Frost 9% Tony and Cherie Blair 20% Posh and Becks 4% Prince Charles and Camilla 43% Jude Law and Sienna Miller 25-01-2005 Cap it all Will you be donning a cap this season? 20% Only in my vagina 8% Only at the races 6% Only in am dram 8% Yes, I'm just off to Jermyn Street actually 58% Certainly not 18-01-2005 Rule the roost What do you really think of the Royal Family? 46% Pampered prats 5% Not the same since Di died 8% Gay 21% That Prince William is a bit of alright 21% Secret members of the BNP 10-01-2005 Everybody in the house What's the most disgusting sight in the BB house? 35% John McCririck's man breasts 47% Jackie Stallone's lumpy face 7% Caprice's collagened lips 5% Jeremy Edwards' baggy underpants 5% Brigitte Nielsen's unwieldly bosoms 04-01-2005 Farewell my lovely What was the greatest achievement of 2004? 10% Matthew Pinsent proving big boys do cry 5% Rebecca Loos' porcine pleasuring (and we don't mean Becks) 40% Robert Kilroy-Silk getting covered in slurry 17% Prince Harry pulling a girl called Chelsy and punching a photographer 29% David Blunkett bedding Kim Quinn and creating the unlikeliest sex scandal ever 15-12-2004 Sing, sing, sing Which song sums up your feelings about the festive season? 27% I wish it could be Christmas every day 8% All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth 18% I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus 15% Lonely This Christmas 32% I'll be home for Christmas 07-12-2004 Rule of thumb Who's the sexiest man in politics? 5% George 'wouldya' Bush 8% Tony 'be my babe' Blair 60% Bill 'call me' Clinton 25% Boris 'here's my' Johnson 2% David 'under the' Blunkett 30-11-2004 Sisters are not doing it for themselves But which one is worse? 64% Natalie 'tie me to the train track' Appleton 13% Sophie 'too precious to do the washing up' Anderton 15% Nancy 'won't say a word once my husband arrives' Sorrell 8% Sheila 'get others to do my dirty work' Ferguson 22-11-2004 Just boot it Is it really advisable for women to tuck their jeans into their boots? 32% Only if they're Kate Moss 41% Only if they're going for a walk in rather muddy countryside 16% Only if they've checked their back view in the mirror first 11% What do you mean? I like the baggy arse/tree trunks look 16-11-2004 Band on the run Which is the better line up, 1984, 1989 or 2004? 60% 1984 - I can't believe you seriously think Will Young is better than George Michael 5% 1989 - I like Stock, Aitken and Waterman music, okay? 5% 2004 - Look, there are some serious artists here. It's a serious business, you know 30% None of them - we're just waiting for the re-release of We Are The World 09-11-2004 Bridget over troubled waters ... what is Bridget Jones's lasting legacy? 18% Giving singletons a bad name 9% Giving chardonnay a bad name 21% Giving smug marrieds a bad name 5% Giving diaries a bad name 47% Reminding everyone Colin Firth is a sex god 02-11-2004 Election time Who do you think should be ruling the United States? 2% George Bush 29% Homer Simpson 53% Hillary Clinton 10% John Kerry 6% Mickey Mouse 25-10-2004 Knit wit But will you be wearing one this season? 14% No, they're only for Mexicans 12% No, they're only for skinny supermodels 62% No, why would I want to look like I've cut a hole of out of my granny's tablecloth 12% Of course I'm wearing a poncho this season 19-10-2004 Mellow yellow But just who could she be talking about? 10% Pauline Fowler 33% Christina Aguilera 14% Ann Widdecombe 11% Sienna Miller 32% Jessica Simpson 12-10-2004 Loos talk Which reality TV task would you rather do? 11% Wank a pig 6% Eat fish eyes 15% Clean a horse's knob 25% Talk to Les Dennis 43% Perform Lady Marmalade while wearing chaps 05-10-2004 Tory story What do we think Michael Howard's was? 12% Bat out of Hell 33% Creature of the Night 17% Human Fly 38% The Timewarp 28-09-2004 Broken hearted melodies... Who's next on the Split List? 32% Posh and Becks 49% Jordan and Pete 7% Tony and Cherie 2% Elton and David 11% George and Kenny 21-09-2004 It's a sharing, caring world What's the worst flat-share sin? 28% Cum in the bath 29% Used condoms under the sofa 29% Mistaking your bedroom for the bathroom 14% Mistaking your bed for theirs 07-09-2004 Asleep on the job Where are you at your most creative? 4% At my desk 46% In bed 19% On the loo 31% Down the pub 31-08-2004 Baby talk What will this one be called? 34% Madrid 25% Rebecca 25% Adidas 16% Marrakech 24-08-2004 Rood behaviour But what, ladies, should fiancée Coleen do now? 30% Marry him for his millions 35% Leave him in the gutter 9% Invest in a PVC suit 26% Become a working girl - and get a job 17-08-2004 Rain rain go to Spain But what do you think of all this rain? 15% It's good for the garden 36% It's fun to dance in 13% It's wet and wild 36% I'm off to Spain 10-08-2004 Reese's pieces Do you get your bits out on the beach? 18% Yup, collar and cuffs 26% Yup, but only my baps 24% Nope, but I dig that string bikini 32% Nope, I wouldn't want to frighten the kids 03-08-2004 When Michelle boiled pink rabbit Will Stu dump Michelle now he's left the BB house? 19% Yes, and move onto Shell 42% Yes, watch out bunnies! 23% No, he's well under the thumb 17% No, he lurves her 27-07-2004 A nation of pissheads Where would you rather go on holiday? 22% Rocking in Rock 30% Sunning yourself on the Costa del Sol 17% Frolicking in Faliraki 30% Hibernating in the Outer Hebrides 20-07-2004 Mashed Swede What should Ms Dell'Olio do next? 19% Kick Sven into touch 14% Use his guts for garters 42% Forgive and forget 24% Move onto Terry Venables 13-07-2004 Great Britney Should a man ever kiss and tell? 10% Yes, if the cheque's big enough 34% Yes, if his cock's big enough 27% No, no gent would ever spill the beans 30% No, he has no idea what hell he's unleashing 29-06-2004 Our lady Madonna What's wrong with Madonna strutting her stuff on stage? 16% Nothing – she'll always be the material girl to me 58% Nothing – if Mick can do it for the over-sixties, why not Madge for the over-forties? 11% Everything – if I want to watch yoga I'll go to the local Buddhist centre 16% Everything – especially now she's taken to wearing tartan 21-06-2004 Big bother Has Big Brother really gone too far? 29% No - not far enough in my book 18% No - and I want to be in it next year 12% Yes - they are all seriously unhinged 41% Yes - it's time to call the whole thing off 15-06-2004 How crap are we? Is Britain a nation of losers? 31% Yes, we couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery 38% Yes, even the Swedes couldn't sort us out 31% Give us a chance, love, there's a few more games to go 08-06-2004 Addicted to love How long will this one last? 13% Forever 31% Until the next sucker comes along 25% Three weeks 31% Until Ben takes her back 01-06-2004 Keep your spirits up ...do you believe in the power of the Ouija? 40% It's a load of old bollocks 27% I like to keep an open mind 20% One time I did it and spoke to my nan from beyond the grave 13% It's evil and you shouldn't mess with it 25-05-2004 Sac, back and crack? How do you like your men? 14% Smoother than a baby's bottom 18% Fuzzy as a peach 32% Like a well-trimmed lawn 36% Hairier than Grizzly Adams 18-05-2004 Apples and pears What should Gwyn and Chris have called their kid? 29% House 19% Martin 10% Pear 43% Fair Trade 10-05-2004 Dirty Den does the dirty Just what do you think of Leslie Grantham? 21% He's finger-licking good! 21% You'd be his princess any day 58% He's living proof you should never go back 04-05-2004 Al fresco fun Is sex best left to the bedroom? 6% Yes, topless sunbathing is bad enough (and I mean the men) 16% Yes, if I'm not getting any I don't want to see anyone else at it 29% No, as long as you're in the middle of the moors 48% No, what's wrong with a bit of fun in the sun? 27-04-2004 Identity crisis Do you think we should have identity cards? 17% Yes, keep those criminals off the streets 25% Yes, at least it won't matter when I lose my passport 33% No, how would I fit that down my boob tube? 25% No, I don't want my double life exposed 20-04-2004 Mc Doh! Would you be seen dead in McDonalds? 24% No 29% Yes, but only for a McMuffin 14% Yes, but only after closing time 33% Yes, I eat burgers for breakfast 12-04-2004 Beckham heaven Should Posh give Becks the push? 13% Yes — him and his diamond earrings 11% Yes — but keep the diamond earrings 20% No — she won't do better than Becks 56% No — just spend all his dosh, Posh 04-04-2004 Easter bun fight What do you really think of the hot cross bun? 10% They're glorified rolls cooked too near the top of the oven 10% They're a con by bakers to bring in more cash 17% They're rather delicious 62% They're rather delicious and have special Christian significance