Things a bint would never say... No. 16: Front bottom by Ruth Sarson uploaded: 08-02-2005 There is nothing worse than coyness about one’s genitalia. But it is hard to avoid in the English language. Private parts, bits, crown jewels, meat and two veg, down there… the list of polite and/or jokey synonyms for our, er, private parts is endless. But “front bottom”? Do me a favour… Where did this come from? Who invented it? Why on earth would anyone think it’s at all “nice” to refer to one’s (okay, I’m going to go for it) vagina as an alternative anus? In fact, isn’t it this expression the horrible revenge of some sort of anal fetishist out there on women of a certain social standing? Isn’t it weird that, in the name of niceness, woman are downgrading their (mmm, say it again) vaginas to the status of a mere hole with a very basic function? All right, so vagina isn’t a great word. But what’s wrong with vadge? Fanny? Puss? Cunt (in certain situations)? Just anything… except the front bottom. [No. 15: How many calories are in that?] "Isn’t it weird that, in the name of niceness, woman are downgrading their (mmm, say it again) vaginas to the status of a mere hole with a very basic function?"